GFU: March 2014

Another impeccable performance by Javier Bardem- could be the #1 actor in the world right now. Be sure to check him out in The Counselor.

THE COUNSELOR

Ridley Scott has blessed us with this one about drugs, greed, sex, and Mexican muscle. Cameron Diaz turns in one of her best performances since "The Box," as Malkina, the one who wears the pants in her relationship with Bardem, who is hysterical as Reiner. This guy is unstoppable as an actor, pur joy... and here we see him laughing when Counselor asks him a serious question... just for no reason... it is priceless. There is a lot of sex innuendo in this film, and I can see how many felt it off-putting. Fassbender says "Life is being in bed with you, everything is is just waiting." Deep statement which describes a fuck-fest relationship with Penelope Cruz... and who can disagree with that statement... so true. The Wireman is good and the winding garrote that gets Pitt is such a pleasure - I had to watch it twice. Poor guy - teaches us a lesson - always wear a pocket knife as it could have saved this guy. Bardem elevates this film, which does not focus on drugs so much... and it marinates very nicely after viewing it.

Score: 8.0900

THOR DARK WORLD

Ugh... forgettable

Score: 4.0869

Hunger Games II

Child's play. Nice to see Hoffman work his magic, though.

Score: 5.0433

You know you're in trouble when you find out more than half the film takes place at night, veiling all elements of the film... making ti impossible to gauge... well, because it is pitch black and you can;t see anything!! Ah, but there is hope, the setting returns to day, but that doesn't stop the technique, as any chance of obtaining a visual opportunity of something interesting is decimated by a timely flow of space sand, making it impossible to see anything. Forget about plot, character development, or creativity, this film has none, and it has broken new ground in disrespecting its audience as fools.

You'll never find a Hollywood film without the use of the word "hope" in the screenplay. Late last year, it appeared HW had caught onto a boosty hot-streak, with a few quality films released making up for the boring, meaningless types like "Lincoln." Well, looks like all hope is lost, and I have the duo to prove it.

Last Days On Mars receives the award for mastering the craft of employing darkness/night scenes and Mars sand storms/winds to mask its dreadfully poor prrouduction value. This is without a doubt, one of the worst films ever made. While the aforementioned films fail, there are pleasant surprised, which , yes, you guessed, iot, offer hope.

LDOM is a mess. There is nothing positive about this film, the writing, the characters, and story included. Lieve Schreiber has improved as an actor, though, and he is becoming someone to be excited about. It;s a shame his talent is wasted on this desperately meaningless film that does a great job of not showing or telling anything. Half the film is shot at night, which has always been a way for sub-par films to try and compensate for the poor talents of everyone involved behind the camera.

It is dreadful to think hat the individuals responsible for the creation of this film were given money to shoot it. This is the problem with HW... we have average talent at best, given a chance to demonstrate it, at all costs, and the results all too many times... yield suffering for the viewer... as we must persevere,,, and keep hope that this cannot be happening... it's borderline torture.

Without a doubt, one of the worst films I have ever seen,,, this coming a day after I saw "LIQUID SKY" a supposed B movie from 1982. If Liquid Sky is a B Movie, then LDOM has to be shelved as a D flick.

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Last Days On Mars: 1.8008

The Wolf of Wall Street

I thought the book was bad, couldn;t even get past page 100. Well, I was wrong, the film is even worse... offering zero realism, and establishing a mockery of drugs, and the best actor category. Yet, despite its fails, Jonah Hill does a great job, he is funny as hell, and the scene with Leo and the FBI agents ion the boat isn't bad, either. IN the end, a weak film which decided to use material items to shield the lack of any realistic Wall Street experience... when you have the name Wall Street in your name, you better be able to back it up... and it is an awful misnomer here, another dismissive slap in the face to the audience. I'll admit, the midget tossing was good, real good.

I feel bad for Martin Scorcese... I wonder what he was thinking when he worked with the editor of WOLF on the scene at Brookville Country Club. This is the point in WOlf where the bottom falls out, and the film officially becomes a joke. Leo Dicaprio supposedly took too many Quaaludes and his character, Jordan Belfort cannot walk and must crawl out the clubhouse to his car. While the flashback scene where he hits everything on the road saves the day, still, were they seriously considering giving Leo the Best Actor Oscar for this? Are they kidding? I've never heard of anyone acting totally sober, looking totally sober, and except for a few sentences of mumbling dialogue, is so :"wasted" he must crawl on the floor with purpose. This was really a terrible film, one where we have the mixture of Scorcese's brilliant photography, along with a constant, irritating narration by Dicaprio in a half-fake-attempt at a New York accent.

But again, as with MARS, we see a shocking development. Jonah Hill shocks the world and he actually puts in a fairly decent performance as Donnie Azoff. I don't know, the teeth worked, the accent was flawless, and mhe steals so many scenes especially the smoking crack in the diner scene:

"Smoke crack with me! C'mon, smoke crack with me!" hilarious.

Still, the fine performance by one of the most overrated actors out there cannot help this film. The errors are unbound. Why bring McCounuaghy in for a weak cameo that isnt even funny, only t never see him again? Clearly, Scorcese knew he ahd to pull off a few tricks to make this film work, and to defend its weakness considering the big budget, his reputation, and that of Dicaptrio. There is not even a way to consider this perfomrance being even close to what Dicaptrio and Scorcese did in "The Aviator." In Wolf, we receive nno real Wall Street content. Nothing except for mLeo telling us what an IPO stands for, like my 23 year old girlfriend did back in 2004...ahhh, those were the days, she was so hot.(A;hem).

A big disappointment, and it only proves that no matter hoe much money you get to make a film, you cannot put enough of that lipstick on the pig... because it will still be a pig. A sad day for film... a very sad day...

SCORE:
THE WOLF OF WALL STREET: 4.0004

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