Neighborhood Watch with an Upside-Down Brain, without Recourse
(Texas, U.S.A.)
Inevitable. On Sunday, Zimmerman, [“Fat Stuff,”] is pulled over by a Texas state trooper [“Cowboy”] for speeding.
“I have a gun,” Fat Stuff admits to Cowboy, also adding that he is wearing it –ya know, like he always does.
This state trooper clearly doesn’t recognize me. Good, as I am a special, secret, special insider agent… seal, Navy Seal classified agent …spy, international special officer of restricted espionage…stealth missions –
“Where you headed, chunky-man?” Cowboy asks.
“Oh, nowhere in particular.”
Cowboy asks him to put his gun in the glove, like normal people do.
Okay, so Fat Stuff is basically driving around America LOOKING FOR ACTION.
I would call Fat Stuff and ask if we could have a camera-man ride with him, to share his deformed existence with audiences.
{FADE –IN}***With Mrs. Fat Stuff back in middle Florida, holed up waiting for her perjury trial to begin, Fat Staff is free. Driving aimlessly, with no map or ideal destination, Fat Stuff is going to protect our neighborhoods. If he doesn’t know you, or if you look like you are on drugs, your better run, because Fat Stuff is packing – and he is LOOKING FOR ACTION.
“This guy looks like he is on drugs. I’ll shoot and deal with it on the way to re-fill the buckets at Popeye’s, it’s getting close to second lunch time… and I’m hungry.”
Fat Stuff likes the color silver. He likes pick-up trucks. The camera pans back to the twin (double?) cab to reveal the following rations; stocked special for this new mission:
3 bags of JAX (large arti*-+cial cheese puffs)
Case of twinkies
Slim-Jim beef jerky – two cases; tobacco flavor
Three large buckets with the words “KFC” written on them
Ten rectangulatr shaped boxes from Popeyes
Snickers – case
Hubba Bubba – case, and so on…
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