Search This Blog

Thursday, May 3, 2018

THE PROBLEMS WITH INFINITY WAR : ISSUES, MELT DOWN, COMPLAINTS, SLOPPY, CARELESS, This Could Have Returned the Film Medium to the Top- Failures Listed.

Cap Beat Stark in 'Civil' but Infinity War writers, directors unable to see the value of this ( he throws 1 punch, block 1 punch- that's it!) or of a tag team reunion w/ Tony to take on Thanos

Wiping out multiple characters [even with their resurrection pending Avengers 4 time-stone rewind] diminishes the value of each character's demise...making every incineration meaningless...and of little value.  Loki's death kicked this thing off well...but when you take out too many there's nothing important about any of their ends since they'll all return...

Nobody pulled Banner aside, stood him up, and said it's now or never or we all die.  Stark leaving him behind, indifferent, going it alone "take the fight to Thanos."  I thought he had intellect- there's no plan, almost absolute certainty of failure- what w/ all that nanotechnology you can't make a phone call - makes for a great reunion w/ Cap if they could tag team Thanos.

Banner in the Hulkbuster w/ as much experience as some idiot on the street or even a scientist w/ no previous experience.

Hulk fights Thanos- who is fully armored up - after three seconds he turns coward, no desire to fight/smash...I don't know how you can fuck up the Hulk--but they did. It's bad, it's sloppy.  Hulk CGI looked weak and soft.  No round II.  [again, setting up Avengers 4].

The voice for Maw was high pitched and sounded too human.  Should have been deep , dark, and stirring.

Black Dwarf little dialogue, never speaks.  We never get Black dwarf/Cull Obsidian(renamed)  VS. Hulk -  what we really want to see.

Thanos' travel via portal unexplained- Steppenwolf had a boom tube.  Whys is Thanos' nose so TINY??

Scarlet Witch, most powerful Avenger, never has a chance to fuck with Thanos.

Soft Captain America vs. Thanos- that could've been a key climactic moment- Cap beat Iron Man in Civil War.  1 punch and 1 block is how you make a fight look dull - it   could have been a good exchange.

Groot/Rocket unweaponized...figure they would have a warchest, especially rocket.



The score was overly excessive - taking the need for a score to whole other level- there are plenty of moments when it got in the way, sounded like star wars, even the terminator.  OVER THE TOP.  No need to drench a film with music...use songs, sparingly.

Gamora stressing the importance of sacrifice...even going so far as to try and self-terminate...but when her half sister, Nebula, ( where the relationship is possibly mixed-even w/her as anti-hero) when Nebula is getting dissected and the fate of the universe is on the line, Gamora says "Fuck it.  Kill half the universe.  At least my sis Nebby will be alive.  The souls stone is three rocks over!"  Kind of contradicts everything.

Quill, who I enjoy, I think he is smart enough to wait for the gauntlet to come off.. then unleash frustration- could have been a nice opportunity to see Thanos try and overcome them without the stones...make him earn it.  Throwing the moon was great.

Absolute best moment, IMO, is when Thor shows up -after hammering in Thanos says " I TOLD YOU!  YOU DIE FOR THAT!"  What a great fuckin' line... shows these guys have the best potential in the world.  Wish they could've developed this longer - it really could've been something special.

Sunday, April 22, 2018

‘Brad’s Status’ , [2018] Score: Ten Minute Walk Out ; Failure…IN THE FLESH Encounter.

Oh, God!  Run!



“Make sure you keep realism very close.  In film, be real…but never be boring,”

                 --Stanley Kubrick


Depressing, sad, boring, nothing of value, and massive missed opportunities at laughter when the audience …when they really needed it most.


How does one charge money for this? 

Stiller is a comedic genius.  When I saw the scene cut rather than let him enjoy an encounter at the hotel lobbey for check-in- when shit can go wrong..that’s when I knew I’d be better off with a…shotgun to the face the way this thing was playing out.

C’mon guys.  You work in this industry because you have valuable, creative, inventive ideas-not because you know how to green-ligth a project worth nothing of material substance, or value.

I am holding out until HALLOWEEN 2018 returns.  If you fu*k that up, I am coming in to clean this up.

Friday, January 26, 2018

ARBITRAGE AT THE TOP: Alphabet makes $70 B more than AAPL

GOOG - ALPHABET vs AAPL two yrs fin stmts] CASH 19.4 B 48 Net Inc. 86 74 DEBT!!! 4 115 GOOG makes $70B more/yr.... so if AAPLs mkt cap is 878, GOOG at 817 still has room to rise

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Bad Ideas Turning Into Films. The Beginning of the End

Colassal, Morgan, and how can you screw up Transformers?

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Film Capture Capsule: The Florida Project [2017] Worst Movie Ever Made and Distributed...Ever. "White Trash" is the Title That Fits.

Hoped Defoe would challenge Rockwell for Supporting Oscar.  Sadly, there's not much to it.


IN THE INTEREST OF OUR VALUABLE TIME THIS WILL BE QUICK.  

WE ARE IN BIG TROUBLE WHEN A MOVIE [NOT A FILM, NOT ART, CRAP MOVIE] LIKE THIS GETS THROUGH DECISION MAKERS IN THE INDUSTRY.  RANDOM SCRAPS OF BORING MOMENTS ARE BUUNDLED TOGETHER TO CREATE A LARGE SCALE PILE OF SH*T.

LIKE 'CALL ME BY YOUR NAME,' NOTHING HAPPENS HERE.

IT'S AS IF THEY THINK PRODUCING NO ENTERTAINMENT VALUE IS ACCEPTABLE IN THESE TIMES.  THIS IS A TURN IN THE WRONG DIRECTION AND IT IS A LONG WAY DOWN.

WE DO NOT LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE ALL YOU NEED IS A CAMERA, 120 MINUTES OF BORING FOOTAGE, AND MONEY TO RELEASE A FILM FOR CINEMA CONSUMPTION.

THIS FILM TRIES TO CLING TO REALITY-ART AND IF NOT FOR WILEM DEFOE THIS THING STOPS DEAD.  

"MAKE IT AS REALISTIC AS POSSIBLE.  JUST DON'T BE BORING,"
                                                                                                                          --Stanley Kubrick

THE TITLE IS A REFERENCE TO THE WORKING NAME FOR DISNEY WORLD DURING THE PLANNING STAGES.

IF YOU SAT DOWN AND WATCHED TWO HOUR OF COMMERICALS YOU WOULD BE MORE ENTERTAINED.  NOW, CONSIDER THAT THEY ARE ACTUALLY ASKING PEOPLE TO PAY ...TO PAY MONEY TO SEE THIS GARBAGE!  THEY WANT YOUR MONEY, OUR MONEY, TO COMPENSATE THEM FOR PRODUCING THE MOST BORING, WORST WRITTEN, HORRIBLY FILMED SAD EXCUSE FOR A MOVIE THAT IS A WORSE EXPERIENCE THAN STARING AT THE TOILET BOWL FOR AN HOUR OR PUTTING A CAMCORDER ON THE GOLDEN RETRIEVER FOR TWO HOURS.

WE NEED A GOVERNMENT SPONSORED AGENCY INSTALLED TO PREVENT THEFT AND FRAUD IN THE  FILM INDUSTRY.  THIS WILL STOP THE UNCREATIVE, AND THEIR POOR POOR QUALITY PROJECTS FROM EVER STEALING MONEY FROM CITIZENS WHO ARE TRICKED INTO AN EXPERIENCE THAT WILL BE ENTERTAINING.

YES, THIS IS HOW BAD IT IS GETTING.  WE'LL CALL IT FECES; THE FILM AND ENTERTAINMENT CREDIBILTY ENFORCEMENT  SYSTEM.

Monday, January 1, 2018

THE CINEMA INDUSTRY: MELTDOWN EXHIBIT A1: NETFLIX PRODUCTION'S FAILURE WITH THE WORST THING YOU'LL SEE FOR A LONG TIME; BRIGHT [ WILL SMITH, JOEL EDGARTON, NOOMI RAPACE].


EVERYTHING AWFUL IS DISCLOSED WITH NFLX'S LATEST FILM PROJECT, BRIGHT.


CAST 

HIGHBROW, TOP SHELF CAST POSITIONS THIS PROJECT, ON PAPER AT LEAST, TO BE WORTHWHILE FOR PRODUCERS AND INVESTORS.  CAST DESIGNED TO MINIMIZE ANY FALL-OUT RISK, MAKING THIS AN ATTRACTIVE OPPORTUNITY.  BIG MONEY USED TO SECURE WILL SMITH, JOEL EDGARTON, AND NOOMI RAPACE.  *NOTE: SUICIDE SQUAD TRIO- SMITH, CORRECTIONS OFFICER ND HERNNDEZ.


FAILURES

FILMING OCCURS ENTIRELY AT NIGHT.  TRADITIONAL MEANS TO VEIL SETTINGS AND SCRIPT FAIL.  INITIAL DAY SHOOTS TURN SOUR, WITH A SUB=PAR APPEARANCE THE SAME SCENES ARE FILMED AT NIGHT, INCREASING THEIR LIKEABILITY BY 15% ON AVERAGE.  IN THIS CASE THEY SHOULD HAVE JUST FILMED THE MOON AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A MORE PLEASING EXPERIENCE.  AVENGERS 1 IS THE ONLY FILM THAT NAVIGATED DAY LIGHT ACTION WITH SUCCESS.

CHEAP PRODUCTION INCLUDES SCENES APPEARING FILMED ON VACANT STUDIO LOTS.  WHEN ACTION SCENES ARRIVE THEY PLAY OUT INSIDE A CONVENIENT STORE.  THERE ARE NO EXTRAS OF ANY KIND, MAKING THIS LOOK AND FEAL FAKE...AND WITHOUT ANY DOUBT A FICTION.  THIS IS THE CASE WITH EVERY SCENE- OBSERVE HOW EACH SCENE PLAYS OUT AND CONSIDER THE MERIT OF ITS APPEARANCE AND ALSO HOW MUCH MONEY IT WOULD TAKE TO PRODUCE IT.  FOR ALMOST 25 MINUTES THE ONLY COST FOR MATERIAL, MUSIC, OR SETTING APPEARS TO BE ONLY THREE IENTICL WHITE UNDERSHIRTS WORN BY THE ACTORS OR TWO JACKETS WITH 'POLICE' AND 'SHERRIFF' WRITTEN ON THE BACK [ LET'S NOT FORGET THE ORCS FACE PAINT- $8.00 PROABLY AT THE ART SHOP...CHRIST].

ALTERNATE REALITY AND PREMISE CRUMBLES WHEN:

 "WAND...WE HAVE A MAGIC WAND," IS SPOKEN BY WILL SMITH.


OH! ARE THEY KIDDING ME!  ARE WE SUPPOSSED TO BELIEVE THIS SH*T!  REMEDIES INCLUDE ONLY ONE REFERENCE TO IT DIRECTLY AND THE ADOPTION OF AN EASIER, BELEIVABLE TERM LIKE 'ROD' OR 'STICK' EVEN.



PROBLEMATIC FACTS

THE LESSON WE LEARN HERE IS HARD AND SAD.  THIS IS PROOF ACCOMPLISHED ACTORS HAVE NO CARE, CONCERN OR REGARD FOR OUR WELL-BEING, OR THE ART OF CINEMA ITSELF.  WILL SMITH, JOEL EDGARTON, AND NOOMI RAPACE WERE PROBABLY PAID OV
ER $10 MILLION EACH.   THINK ABOUT THIS.  IT'S A SUM IN TOTAL THAT PROVES YOU CANNOT BUY QUALITY.  THE FACT THAT THESE THREE AND THE UP TO 100 OTHERS INVOLVED COULD NOT FIX SUCH HORRIFIC FEATURES DESERVING DEATH BY FLAMETHROWER.  THERE'S ONLY ONE SCENE WORTH WATCHING IN THIS MOVIE.  AN IN TRAFFIC MOMENT ON WHAT LOOKS LIKE A WANNA-BE PARK AVENUE IN NYC...it SHOWS THE POLICE CRUISER MOVING AMONG FUTURISTIC, HIGH PERFORMANCE LUXURY CARS.  IT'S THE SECOND INTELLIGENT DECISION IN A POOL FILLED WITH THOUSANDS OF TERRIBLE CHOICES.  THE IMAGE OFFERED A LOOK INTO A WIDESPREAD AFFLUENT PERIOD, AS IF 2017'S STOCK MARKET RUN CONTINUED...FOR TEN MORE [ THANKS, TRUMP].


PROFITEERING.  THIS PROJECT LANDED AT NFLX BECAUSE NO STUDIO WANTED TO FILM ALIEN NATION 2, A TV SERIES.  NFLX MADE SURE THIS FILM COST NEXT TO NOTHING, AFTER CAST COSTS.  THEY WILL LIKLEY MAKE MILLIONS ON THIS... AND IT WILL ENCOURAGE THEM TO DO THE SAME THING NEXT TIME..AND THE NEXT... WITHOUT THE BULKY STAR COSTS.  BAD ENTERTAINMENT IS HERE...AND IT WILL GET WORSE ...BUT IS IT HERE TO STAY?



EPILOGUE

BRIGHT DOES NOT DESERVE AN EFFORT TO WRITE ABOUT IT. NO, WHAT IT DESERVES IS A QUICK BURIAL OR A PLACE IN A FILM CLASS CENTERING ON LOW-BUDGET GARBAGE.  WILL SMITH IS EXTREMELY SELECTIVE WHEN IT COMES TO HIS TIME.  HE WAS PROBABLY PAID HIS USUAL $20 MILLION WHICH TRIGGERED THE DOMINOES AS HE HAD HIS BUDDIES FROM SUICIDE SQUAD SIGNED ON.  HOW HE HOOKED EDGARTON WE WILL NEVER KNOW CONSIDERING EDGARTON'S SUCCESS IN WRITING AND DIRECTING [ SEE THE GIFT].  I TURNED THE THING OFF AFTER 75% - THE CONVENIENCE STORE BATTLE WAS SO BAD I STOP CRAP FROM FLOWING WHEN I CAN.  IT IS ABSURD ANYONE TRIED TO INTRODUCE MAGIC WAND AS A TOOL IN A FILM TRYING TO PORTRAY AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE.  IF THEY WERE SMART, THEY WOULD ELECT THE SLANG FOR IT...I'D EVEN BUY "MAGIC STICK" IF I WERE HALF ASLEEP.  STILL, 3/4TH THROUGH THE FILM AND THE WAND HASN'T DONE ANYTHING...LENDING ITSLE FTO BE NOTHING MORE THAN A FAKE PROP IN A REALLY SHI**Y ATTEMPT TO BE CREATIVE WHEN FACED WITH AN ALIEN NATION 2 RE-BOOT LOADED WITH UNTALENTED WRITER WITH NO IDEAS.

WE ARE DOOMED.  BUSTED NETFLCIX!  I HOPE THIS HELPS YOU...TO HELP US.

Thursday, December 28, 2017

The Subliminal States of America: New Project Launch.

"I do three things..."



Prologue

Avoid if you prefer to not see anything intense.  It's a subliminal from Eyes Wide Shut.