EVERYTHING AWFUL IS DISCLOSED WITH NFLX'S LATEST FILM PROJECT, BRIGHT.
CAST
FAILURES
FILMING OCCURS ENTIRELY AT NIGHT. TRADITIONAL MEANS TO VEIL SETTINGS AND SCRIPT FAIL. INITIAL DAY SHOOTS TURN SOUR, WITH A SUB=PAR APPEARANCE THE SAME SCENES ARE FILMED AT NIGHT, INCREASING THEIR LIKEABILITY BY 15% ON AVERAGE. IN THIS CASE THEY SHOULD HAVE JUST FILMED THE MOON AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A MORE PLEASING EXPERIENCE. AVENGERS 1 IS THE ONLY FILM THAT NAVIGATED DAY LIGHT ACTION WITH SUCCESS.
CHEAP PRODUCTION INCLUDES SCENES APPEARING FILMED ON VACANT STUDIO LOTS. WHEN ACTION SCENES ARRIVE THEY PLAY OUT INSIDE A CONVENIENT STORE. THERE ARE NO EXTRAS OF ANY KIND, MAKING THIS LOOK AND FEAL FAKE...AND WITHOUT ANY DOUBT A FICTION. THIS IS THE CASE WITH EVERY SCENE- OBSERVE HOW EACH SCENE PLAYS OUT AND CONSIDER THE MERIT OF ITS APPEARANCE AND ALSO HOW MUCH MONEY IT WOULD TAKE TO PRODUCE IT. FOR ALMOST 25 MINUTES THE ONLY COST FOR MATERIAL, MUSIC, OR SETTING APPEARS TO BE ONLY THREE IENTICL WHITE UNDERSHIRTS WORN BY THE ACTORS OR TWO JACKETS WITH 'POLICE' AND 'SHERRIFF' WRITTEN ON THE BACK [ LET'S NOT FORGET THE ORCS FACE PAINT- $8.00 PROABLY AT THE ART SHOP...CHRIST].
ALTERNATE REALITY AND PREMISE CRUMBLES WHEN:
"WAND...WE HAVE A MAGIC WAND," IS SPOKEN BY WILL SMITH.
OH! ARE THEY KIDDING ME! ARE WE SUPPOSSED TO BELIEVE THIS SH*T! REMEDIES INCLUDE ONLY ONE REFERENCE TO IT DIRECTLY AND THE ADOPTION OF AN EASIER, BELEIVABLE TERM LIKE 'ROD' OR 'STICK' EVEN.
PROBLEMATIC FACTS
THE LESSON WE LEARN HERE IS HARD AND SAD. THIS IS PROOF ACCOMPLISHED ACTORS HAVE NO CARE, CONCERN OR REGARD FOR OUR WELL-BEING, OR THE ART OF CINEMA ITSELF. WILL SMITH, JOEL EDGARTON, AND NOOMI RAPACE WERE PROBABLY PAID OVER $10 MILLION EACH. THINK ABOUT THIS. IT'S A SUM IN TOTAL THAT PROVES YOU CANNOT BUY QUALITY. THE FACT THAT THESE THREE AND THE UP TO 100 OTHERS INVOLVED COULD NOT FIX SUCH HORRIFIC FEATURES DESERVING DEATH BY FLAMETHROWER. THERE'S ONLY ONE SCENE WORTH WATCHING IN THIS MOVIE. AN IN TRAFFIC MOMENT ON WHAT LOOKS LIKE A WANNA-BE PARK AVENUE IN NYC...it SHOWS THE POLICE CRUISER MOVING AMONG FUTURISTIC, HIGH PERFORMANCE LUXURY CARS. IT'S THE SECOND INTELLIGENT DECISION IN A POOL FILLED WITH THOUSANDS OF TERRIBLE CHOICES. THE IMAGE OFFERED A LOOK INTO A WIDESPREAD AFFLUENT PERIOD, AS IF 2017'S STOCK MARKET RUN CONTINUED...FOR TEN MORE [ THANKS, TRUMP].
PROFITEERING. THIS PROJECT LANDED AT NFLX BECAUSE NO STUDIO WANTED TO FILM ALIEN NATION 2, A TV SERIES. NFLX MADE SURE THIS FILM COST NEXT TO NOTHING, AFTER CAST COSTS. THEY WILL LIKLEY MAKE MILLIONS ON THIS... AND IT WILL ENCOURAGE THEM TO DO THE SAME THING NEXT TIME..AND THE NEXT... WITHOUT THE BULKY STAR COSTS. BAD ENTERTAINMENT IS HERE...AND IT WILL GET WORSE ...BUT IS IT HERE TO STAY?
EPILOGUE
BRIGHT DOES NOT DESERVE AN EFFORT TO WRITE ABOUT IT. NO, WHAT IT DESERVES IS A QUICK BURIAL OR A PLACE IN A FILM CLASS CENTERING ON LOW-BUDGET GARBAGE. WILL SMITH IS EXTREMELY SELECTIVE WHEN IT COMES TO HIS TIME. HE WAS PROBABLY PAID HIS USUAL $20 MILLION WHICH TRIGGERED THE DOMINOES AS HE HAD HIS BUDDIES FROM SUICIDE SQUAD SIGNED ON. HOW HE HOOKED EDGARTON WE WILL NEVER KNOW CONSIDERING EDGARTON'S SUCCESS IN WRITING AND DIRECTING [ SEE THE GIFT]. I TURNED THE THING OFF AFTER 75% - THE CONVENIENCE STORE BATTLE WAS SO BAD I STOP CRAP FROM FLOWING WHEN I CAN. IT IS ABSURD ANYONE TRIED TO INTRODUCE MAGIC WAND AS A TOOL IN A FILM TRYING TO PORTRAY AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE. IF THEY WERE SMART, THEY WOULD ELECT THE SLANG FOR IT...I'D EVEN BUY "MAGIC STICK" IF I WERE HALF ASLEEP. STILL, 3/4TH THROUGH THE FILM AND THE WAND HASN'T DONE ANYTHING...LENDING ITSLE FTO BE NOTHING MORE THAN A FAKE PROP IN A REALLY SHI**Y ATTEMPT TO BE CREATIVE WHEN FACED WITH AN ALIEN NATION 2 RE-BOOT LOADED WITH UNTALENTED WRITER WITH NO IDEAS.
WE ARE DOOMED. BUSTED NETFLCIX! I HOPE THIS HELPS YOU...TO HELP US.
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